Change tends to be challenging for me. I know what I like, and I find it most comfortable to stick to what I like. However, change happens whether you resist it or not. Transitioning from high school to college was a very difficult change. I had to leave behind the familiarity and stability of my hometown.
I love my hometown. I am from Baltimore, Maryland, and I have lived there my whole life. I went to the same school for elementary and middle school, but in high school I dealt with many changes. My freshman year was fully virtual due to the pandemic. The school I attended was not my first choice. My first choice was an arts school that I did not get into. I was determined to go to the arts school, so I re-auditioned, and I got in! I embraced this change, and at the beginning of sophomore year, I was so excited. Unfortunately, the competitive and rigorous environment contributed to my mental health decline that had begun around 2020. I was extremely anxious, depressed, and had undiagnosed and untreated ptsd. I left school for a little while to get treatment, and when I returned, the faculty did not help me get back on track.
Throughout all of this, I had managed to maintain good grades, so although the high school nearest my house did not usually accept senior-year transfer students, they let me transfer. I adapted to this change and started the year off strong. My mental health had not improved much, so I began to struggle again. It got to the point that I had to finish high school online, and I picked up my diploma months after graduation. I decided that college was the fresh start that I needed.
Looking back, I wish that I had taken a gap year because I was not in the right mental state to leave my family and live in another state. I started attending Bryn Mawr College in fall 2024. Like my pattern in high school, things were great at first, then started to go downhill. I ended up hospitalized for my mental health for the first time, and that experience was very traumatic. I came back to school right after, but I was still struggling, so I took a health leave.
Now that I am back at Bryn Mawr, I am working on continuing to embrace change. I used to see change as only a bad thing, but now I see that change can be good too. Joining clubs and making friends are great changes that I am enjoying.