I really enjoyed watching Far from the Tree and look forward to reading the book later this summer. I found it especially powerful how much time the filmmaker gave to parents to honestly share both their joys and their sorrows/challenges in parenting. I was especially heartbroken by the family whose son killed an 8-year-old, and I realized my own prejudices where I always assume that a violent person/child must come from a traumatizing family. In this case, this didn't seem to be what happened (though we don't really know the family dynamics). But it made me appreciate the little bit of chaos that exists in chain reactions - not everything is pre-determined or deterministic.
I also really appreciated the Atlantic article and I think that parental pressure - working more than ever, less time than ever, higher standards than ever - can help to make sense of why parents use accommodating behavior. It is pretty hard for me to determine the difference between good parenting (meeting a child's needs) and accommodating. It seems like a natural response to the stiff upper lip style of parenting of yore. This article made me also thinking about some of my own accommodating behaviors toward MYSELF related to certain anxieties...