Hi everyone,
The asynchronous movie Far from the Tree was very moving. Based on a book by Andrew Solomon, the inspiration for this exploration was Solomon’s own life growing up as a gay man in a family that did not view this as an acceptable way to be. Curious about the experience of families with children very different from the adults that raised them, Solomon's documentary covered families with children with autism, down syndrome, dwarfism, and one family where the child had committed a terrible crime. Perhaps the best line of the movie to sum up its contents was when Solomon says how he once believed Tolstoy’s quote about how “all happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Solomon turns this on its head by saying something to the effect that actually all unhappiness is fairly similar, but that he is inspired by all the ways that people manage to be happy. I found this to be a really beautiful sentiment and an inspiring one.
What I did feel was perhaps a bit lacking, was that it felt thinner on the actual feeling and navigation of these feelings in the present moment in these families. For example, one story that was very moving was that of Jack, a young man with autism. The family discussed how hard it was to not be able to communicate with Jack when he was young, and the nearly miraculous experience of getting him the right tools to be able to have him write out his thoughts and feelings. But, then it felt a bit glossed over. What is life like for them now emotionally? Are there still things they mourn about for his future or are they in a state of acceptance around Jack’s struggles and triumphs? Jack seemed alright, if not frustrated sometimes by his difficulty in communicating.
Or another young woman, Loini, who felt isolated and perhaps a bit infantilized by her family due to her dwarfism. In the film, she went to her first meeting of the Little People of America, which was having their annual convention. As the viewer, we see her go, but we don’t get to really process that experience with her. What was that like, in her own words? How has that experience shifted things, or did it not? What new inspirations arose from that?
Perhaps this lack of deeper diving for these folks was due to the format of the documentary having a time limit, and maybe the book has more information. Over all, I did think it was really interesting to see such different ways of living and what hardships these families were able to overcome.
Best,
Melissa