Prompt: Describe a situation in your life when you had to choose between what seemed practical and what you believed was right or consistent with your principles. What did you decide, and why? Looking back, how do you evaluate that decision now? What did you learn from this experience, and what would you like your readers to understand from your experience?
When I was in my sophomore year in high school, I found myself trying to fit in and constantly people pleasing those around me instead of respecting myself and doing what was right. During advisory one day, I was with one of my friends, and she had started talking about a situation with another friend of mine. At the time of this conversation, this friend and the other friend had gotten into a disagreement, and I had also spoken to this other friend about my thoughts on the situation. The word got out to this friend of mine, and she had asked me if that was what I actually said and thought of her. In the moment, this friend was also talking bad about the other friend, but I decided to stay quiet and not really defend that friend. Instead of telling the truth and defending the other friend, I had lied, told her the opposite, and was not being authentic. Deep down, I knew this wasn't the right thing to do because if it had been the other way around, I wouldn't like it, so I shouldn't be doing it. The action of me not defending an absent friend and not sharing my truthful thoughts left me feeling guilt after the conversation had ended.
At that moment, my decision to stay quiet and not speak my truth was because I didn't want to start drama, but also mainly because I didn't want this friend to take offense to what my opinions were since there was a chance she was going to not like me after. I was scared of social rejection and awkwardness that would come out of it if I had done the opposite. I felt, at that time, that following along with this friend's opinion and making her feel validated was more important so I would be able to seem more likable. Looking back at this moment, I know my decision was a mistake that was driven from weakness and insecurity rather than my own values that I believed in. I compromised my own moral standard just to be able to gain brief approval from others. I regret not speaking up during this time, and I wish I had had the confidence to tell this friend the truth instead of blind sighting her and also to tell her that villainizing another person was wrong.
This experience has taught me a valuable lesson about the harm of choosing people pleasing over self respect. Moving forward, I promised myself that I would rather value my own truth and respect for myself instead of trying to have temporary comfort of keeping peace. My message to the readers is suppressing your own opinion and staying silent just to fit in does not benefit either side of the party; not only is it dishonoring your own morals, it also hurts those around you. It is much better to have the courage to speak up and defend what is right even when there is a chance of being disliked or being alone because at the end of the day, staying true to yourself is what matters. Ultimately, I learned that being authentic and honest will always matter more than taking the easy way out just to be able to fit in because at the end of the day, having respect for yourself is more important than anything.