“Why are you afraid of fighting me?” he said. “Just leave me be. I don’t want to fight,” I said. It was the first time that I had to deal with an aggressive classmate. He often caused loud commotions in class, whether banging the classroom doors open or speaking as if he were the only one in the room. At the time (freshman year), the only way I knew how to address his behavior was to call him out or argue with him. I then tried ignoring him, but the cycle of his behavior continued. Soon, he began threatening to fight me. I never thought that he would go that far. At first, for personal safety reasons, I stood up and warned him not to come closer. However, blinded by anger, he swung his fist at me. I immediately ducked to the side. He then tried to swing his fist at me again, but this time, I didn’t duck; I simply pushed his chest before he could deliver the blow.
I believe it was practicality that won me over at the time. All my life, I was taught by adults around me to never resort to violence and to tell an adult instead. I had strictly followed this way of life up until the fight happened. Back then, it was either I take the blow and then seek help, or defend myself. At the moment, I chose the latter without much hesitation.
Reflecting back, I believe that with enough resilience, anyone can overcome extraordinary circumstances. I could have avoided the conflict through various possibilities. Instead of coldly responding to his provocations, I could have chosen to walk away or perhaps calmly talk him out of the situation. While physical force can solve immediate problems, not all conflicts can and should be dealt with through violence. Now that I have given this much thought, I do regret choosing force over de-escalation. My life wasn’t necessarily at stake when it had happened. The lesson that I hope others take from this is that true strength does not come when you use force to respond to aggression. Instead, true strength comes through great restraint and resilience when de-escalating conflicts that may turn into violence.