As a young child I thought that I could adapt to changes well and could respond in positive ways to change. Now, being grown up and having slightly more self-awareness, I realize that my personality and actions say otherwise. I truly do not know how I did not see that in myself as a child, I would freak out whenever I had to remake my bed after washing my sheets and got easily overwhelmed in new situations, as many do. Yet, despite my love for routine and regularity, I must admit, changes in my life have forced me to confront myself and grow, perhaps for the better.
Up until coming to college I had begrudgingly experienced various changes in my life. With things like the hormonal and emo middle school years complete with friendship breakups and friend group changes, to varying levels of contact and ways I view extended family members, being the most dramatic life changes that affected me, I hadn’t really been through all that much. Sure, school was a bit different each year and the COVID-19 pandemic fundamentally changed our society, but I still had that familiar routine of going to swim practice, then school, swim practice again, and then home. Even with any more significant changes, I still had a very set schedule and was kept busy enough because of school and extracurriculars that I maintained a high level of day-to-day stability.
Then came college, with its new environment, more individual freedom in my schedule, no bells telling me when to go to my next class, and no one telling me where to go or what to do. Throughout my life until this point, one of the biggest things that brought me comfort during unpleasant times in my life was food, so with my surroundings completely different without the familiarity of foods from home, it made me feel even more unmoored. Even the experience of not being able to arrange my food in certain ways or being able to control how much food I got on my plate was a change that I did not expect to be bothered by as much as I was.
If you were to ask me for a list of my top favorite foods, one of the dishes in my top three would have to be Japanese curry, specifically House Foods Vermont Curry (medium-hot), the way my mom makes it. So, imagine my delight one day walking into the dining hall, already missing the foods I am used to eating at home, and seeing that they have Japanese curry, only to be immediately disappointed because there is a bunch of undissolved curry roux on the serving spoon and it is so watery you can’t tell I put curry on my rice except for a slight wet yellow tinge on my plate. Sadly, this is not the first time I fell victim to the dining hall curry. I think I tried it at least two other times (on different occasions), desperate for a sense of familiarity from home. I also fell victim to the dining hall oden- a kind of fishcake stew- but thankfully I learned from that experience.
However, like all living things must do in order to survive, I found a way to adapt. I got creative in the dining hall and used the panini press and the microwave to make the same few foods I was comfortable with until I got absolutely sick of them. I made my own routines, like drinking a cup of tea at almost every meal or making variations of the same dish using ingredients from the salad bar, to regain a sense of order in my mind. Now that I live off-campus I can cook my own food, but even that comes with its own challenges, because my roommate and I have somewhat different food tastes. Notably, she does not care for Japanese curry or fishcake, so I still yearn for some of my favorite dishes, but even that has its positives. Living and cooking with someone who does not like all of the same foods I do pushes me to try new dishes and start cooking new foods, which expands my palate and my culinary skills.
While I love routine and stability, embracing change allows for growth and personal development. The lack of familiarity in my environment that I experienced when coming to college pushed me to try new foods and get creative with what I had on hand. Sure, my dining hall creations were often questionable and somewhat offputting, but the experience of making my own meal there allowed me to think creatively and push the boundaries of what I was willing to try and create. While living with someone who has different food preferences has its challenges, it granted me the opportunity to experience the joy of sharing foods that I grew up with that others might not have tried yet. Conversely, it has also allowed me to try new dishes that I had never tried before and come around to ingredients and foods that I previously had not enjoyed. Sometimes, change is uncomfortable and terrifying, but the effects of it can be even more beautiful and satisfying than ever imagined.